About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
