Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.