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what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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