yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.