i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...