i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?