Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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