the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I've blown a few things in my day
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.