Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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