I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
