frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
