you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
