I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
