Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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