My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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