ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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