In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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