She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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