well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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