He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
