I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
