I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize