you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
