Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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