I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Never joke about your clitoris.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
