Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
