He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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