dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
