no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
