Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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