Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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