I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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