Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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