My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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