One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
