Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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