Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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