He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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