We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
