my phone needs a breathalizer
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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