i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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