Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize