pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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