Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
