let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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