dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
