Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
