Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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