I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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