well most of my day revolves around power hour
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
