we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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