I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
