You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
