No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
