6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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