i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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