forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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