What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
