Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
