You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
