He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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