so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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