ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
