drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
