the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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