if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
