I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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