A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
