saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
